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One of These GTL Idiots is Gonna Die Soon.

September 27, 2010

Seriously, not to be facetiously morbid, but place your bets now. Realistically, it’s only a matter of time, and MTV only encourages this behavior, so… what’s the over/under on a Jersey Shore: Memorial Special? Season 3 finale episode, maybe? (Two-parter, of course.) Just wondering.

Radar says that sometime during the filming of season 2 (the season currently airing), Snooki (the tiniest orange one) from Jersey Shore got alcohol poisoning, was sent to the hospital and had her stomach pumped. This is the same little orange one that got arrested on the beach for being drunk and disorderly. And “annoying.” (No, really.)

Anyway, Radar says that Snooks was “near-death” and had to be carried out by the show’s producers. She was then taken to the hospital, and the producers decided to keep the incident a secret until they could decide what to do with the footage… because they’re well-meaning saints who only want the best for the cast, clearly. They decided not to put it in the last episode (which is chronologically when everything happened), undoubtedly realizing that eventually someone would point out that this miniature Jersey mopette is being paid and encouraged to drink herself stupid (or dead) by MTV. And when these kids lose steam (please God, let it be soon), MTV will be done with them just as they were with every other idiot they milked for ratings. (But who’s going to call 911, then?) 

Obviously, the girl loves her booze (see: arrest, choice of clothing, generally lacking English language comprehension) and would probably be somewhere chugging Cuervo regardless of the presence of cameras, but she’s now getting paid an absurd amount of money ($10,000! per episode! Your life sucks!) just to be drunk and/or punching somebody (or getting punched) all of the time. Getting hospitalized for overdoing it is a surprise to absolutely no one who’s ever seen 30 seconds or more of the show.

Ah, America. What dreams are made of, no? -B

One Comment leave one →
  1. September 27, 2010 9:38 pm

    yeah my dad will like this

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