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And then THIS happened.

June 17, 2010

OMGZ lols are coming, are you ready?

The bitch was scrolling through random sites on the internet because that’s what she does when no one else is in the office holding her to her job description and shit, and stumbled upon the greatest phrase ever uttered in the history of language. So, y’know, of course it was uttered by that life-changing philosopher Courtney Love, right? Like, who else would it be? (Don’t answer that, that’s totally rhetorical, there’s no one but Courtney.)

If we all lived in an apartment complex, Courtney would be that crazy old lady of indeterminate age always carrying around a broom but never sweeping anything, always wearing a robe and dingy pink “houseshoes” and cursing at the children who run around  the pool, always at her window squinting in your direction when you get back from what may or may not have been the ultimate walk of shame (AMIRIGHT?!). She’s a cultural zeitgeist all by her damn self, and she so totally knows it.

Well, anyway, VH1 finally righted the universe and did a “Behind the Music” special on Courtney and that band she’s in, Hole (how has there not been a BtM on them already?), and Ms. Love had a bunch of epic shit to say. Thanks to Michael K, some of the choicest excerpts are already compiled for you at DListed, not the least of which is the epic gem that warranted its very own entry:

“Don’t call your band Nine Inch Nails if you’ve got a three inch one. My band is called Hole. It’s not called Little Hole. It’s not called Big Hole. It’s not called Flapping Noni. It’s not called Teeny Rose Bud. It’s not called Barbie Pussy. It’s called Hole.”

I mean… Barbie pussy, guys. There’s no better phrase around, is there? (Who else is waiting for Nicki Minaj to write a song of the same title? Anybody?)

Please, please check out the video for the most epic genius ever committed to any sort of artistic media. She really is here to save all of our souls. We can all go home now. 

(It’s Courtney, so you know the language in the video is NSFW as all get out, fyi.)

(The vid won’t embed for me right now, so click here to watch.)

Omigawd. Total contact high. “Behind the Music” airs on Monday, June 21st. -The Bitch

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